Basic fear. How and why should we look for it?
Basic fear. At the heart of our troubled lives and anxieties is a universal basic fear. What is this fear? How does it affect our lives? What do we need to do to get rid of it? If we understand and deal with it, life will become easier.
You need to take control of your anxiety and start managing your life. This fear is deep because it is formed in childhood and becomes the lens through which we look at reality as adults. With age, it sinks deeper into the subconscious and takes root.
Determining how we shape our actions and decisions, while hiding deep inside.
To “dig it up” you will need to make efforts and self-reflection skills, but we will be satisfied with the result. Do you want to become a treasure hunter and find out how deep our enemy – our main fear – is hidden? Choose a problem – no matter how serious or insignificant.
All problems are based, as you will soon see, on the same fear. You need to formulate the problem in one short phrase and write it down in the upper left corner of the sheet. In the upper right corner, write the answer to any of the following questions:
1. Why does this upset me?
2. What exactly can happen?
3. What am I afraid of missing out on or losing?
These three questions are variants of the main one: “What is the fear behind this problem?”.
The answer will allow you to go down a level, getting closer to the source of the fear. The answer should be short, ideally in one phrase without too much detail. You will find that it contains a new problem that is hidden a little deeper than the first one.
Now select the next question and write the answer on the line below, moving on to the third level problem. Continue until you get to the source of the fear.
Useful tips for unearthing the underlying search for fear.
Tips to help you find your underlying fear
If you are unable to answer any of the questions, do two things. First, try to choose another question, the effect will be the same. Second, think about how other people might answer it. This is a clever psychological trick that seems to relieve you of responsibility, but in fact forces you to be sincere, because your answer will still be related only to your fears, not to those of others.
Visualise the process
Imagine you are watching a film and scenes of something that scares you unfold on the screen. Remember: it should be a film about the darkest horror taking over, not an action film where you find a way out and everyone gets what they deserve.
Your goal at this stage is to uncover this treasure, the underlying fear, not to feel optimistic, confident or develop a winning strategy. Watching your fear reflected on the screen.
You feel safe (thanks to the distance), but you can learn a lot about yourself. If you feel very uncomfortable, remember that you have been living with this fear for a long time. Acknowledging it will not make it more gloomy, quite the opposite.
You become the scriptwriter of your own “horror film”. You are simply bringing to the surface what was previously happening behind the scenes of consciousness. How do you know when you have reached the source of your fear?
When you ask any of the three questions and come up with the same answer, you have reached the goal. There are five universal fears that underlie the others. They are also called “fears of loss” of love, identity, meaning of the purpose of life, fear of death, illness, etc.).
Ask yourself if your fear falls into one of these categories. If so, you’ll understand what beliefs are at the core of your personality, what lies behind every action and decision you make.
When you are convinced that all problems are based on the same deep-seated fear, you will feel more confident. You will begin to understand the cause of the problem.
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