About valuing the “now” over the “then.”
About valuing the “now” over the “then.”Why are we so organised, why do we never appreciate what we have at the moment? Have you ever caught yourself thinking: “How good and wonderful it was then, and I didn’t notice it and didn’t enjoy that time or moment of life. I spent it only on internal dissatisfaction and claims to myself, to people around me, to the world.
You got only dissatisfaction with life from these thoughts. And you decide for yourself that that’s it, next time it won’t happen. But everything repeats, and again the same thoughts and the same feeling of regret for yourself, for people, for life.
Why is it like this? What prevents us from appreciating what we have now?

At the heart of it all is our human nature and there is no escaping it. Man is so contradictory that it’s hard for him to accept the value of something until he loses it. Or compares how it was before and how it is now.
It is only when we realise how much worse it is now that we realise how good it was then. It is difficult for us to determine the degree of pleasure, happiness, joy through positive experience and perception. Often we realise it through pain and suffering. And the greater our loss, the greater the value it then takes on.
It is also our human nature that we get used to everything very quickly. When we dream about something, we get it and after a while it seems to us that it couldn’t be any other way. It becomes the norm and loses its value. And we again want what we do not have, we suffer and forget about what we do have.
The next important point is, do we value ourselves? If we do not value ourselves, then everything we have will not be of value to us. And comparing ourselves with others, we will be complexed. And complexes lead to disappointment in life and to bitterness at the whole world.
The most important thing a person has is their health. Unfortunately, in order to pay attention to it, we need to lose it, at least for a while. Then we begin to suffer physically, mentally and we remember about it. It is a pity, because if a person realised the value of his health, he might have avoided losing it.
We, in general, tend to appreciate what we have already lost. However, some people find it and do not appreciate it again. So it goes away again, more painfully and perhaps forever.
There is no need to compare yourself with other people. It is a pointless endeavour, especially since there are so many people around. The attitude to oneself, to what we have, to life is a person’s inner psychology, and it does not depend on one’s physical condition, on the number of limbs one has, on good or bad eyesight or hearing.
Therefore, you need to appreciate what you have at the moment, rather than constantly looking at what you don’t have. It is necessary to develop your strengths, not to be sad about your shortcomings.
What do you have? I’m sure you have many things that you underestimate, don’t see or devalue. You know, a lot of people dream about what you have. Very often what is the norm for us and what we don’t value is wealth in the eyes of others. So maybe you can finally see and realise your wealth! And feel truly rich and happy!
To do this, take a piece of paper and write down everything that you value in yourself and in yourself: it can be your qualities, skills, knowledge, thoughts, appearance, your actions, achievements, everything that is important to you. If it is difficult to write, you can ask your significant others what you have that is valuable to them.
I think you’ll be very surprised to hear what they tell you. That’s your value. Now all you have to do is believe in it and accept it. And if you start to forget it and lose it, get out this sheet and read it quickly!
There are times when there are deeper issues behind self worth and it is difficult, and often even impossible, to deal with them on your own. Therefore, it is very difficult to accept and feel your value.
And this prevents you from living a full, happy life and enjoying life. In such a case I recommend to consult a competent psychologist, or better psychotherapist, and work through these difficulties together with the specialist.
I read a great thought somewhere:
“We don’t value what we have… We value what we don’t have… And overvalue what we may never have… We are not worthy of more if we don’t value what we have…”
Only when you appreciate what you have now can you change it for the better and get so much more!
Appreciate yourselves! All the best to you!
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A prolific writer, psychologist and university lecturer, he coined the concept of “flow” and was one of the leading representatives of positive psychology. Let’s take a deeper look at the personality of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and his life…