The ten-step path to self-love

The ten-step path to self-love. 1. The most important point in the science of love is probably the rejection of self-criticism. When we tell ourselves that nothing is wrong, then, regardless of the circumstances, everything can be easily changed and corrected. But when we believe that everything is bad, difficulties are encountered at every turn. We are all changing, without exception. Every day is a new day. And today we are already doing things a little differently than yesterday. Our strength lies in our ability to adapt and move forward with the flow of life.

Those who grew up in dysfunctional families often develop an overwhelming sense of responsibility and develop a habit of harsh self-criticism. Think for a moment, what words do you use when you scold yourself? Stupid, ugly, etc…

You need to develop a sense of self-worth and self-worth. Because when we feel that we are not good enough, we constantly find reasons to be unhappy and humiliated. In addition, we allow diseases and pain to settle in our bodies; we put off things that could benefit us; we mistreat our bodies, stuffing them with alcohol, drugs and “heavy” foods.

One way or another, we are all insecure because we are human beings, not gods. Let’s learn not to claim to be perfect. Excessive expectations only put excessive pressure on us and prevent us from seeing what needs healing in ourselves.

Instead, we can discover our creative abilities, strictly individual character traits, and learn to respect ourselves for the qualities that distinguish us from others. Each of us has our own task, our own role on Earth. They have no analogues.

And when we are critical of ourselves, this fades into the background, becomes unclear.

2. We must stop scaring ourselves

Many of us terrorise ourselves with gloomy thoughts, making things worse. An elephant grows from a fly. You cannot live in eternal expectation of something bad happening.

We often go to bed having mentally drawn a picture of the most unsuccessful solution to our problem. It’s a childish thing to do: a child imagines that a monster is sitting under his bed and is frightened by his own fantasies.

No wonder you can’t sleep at night. Just like a child, you need your parents to come and cuddle you. But now you are grown up and know that only you can calm yourself down. Sick people often scare themselves.

As a rule, they imagine the worst. They think about their funeral and, as a result, they no longer feel like a person. Bad thoughts can ruin relationships between people. You don’t get a phone call – this immediately leads to the conclusion that you are unloved and now you are sentenced to lifelong loneliness.

You feel abandoned and rejected. The same can be true at work. If you receive less than flattering feedback from someone, you immediately imagine being fired. In this way, you create and reinforce paralysing thoughts in your own mind. Remember that they are all negative affirmations – negative statements.

If you catch yourself thinking a negative thought, look for an image that you would like to see in its place. Perhaps it’s a beautiful view, a sunset, a flower, a sketch from your sporting life, etc. Use this image as a switch whenever you find yourself trying to intimidate yourself.

Say to yourself: “I will not think about this anymore. I will think about the sunset, roses or yachts, or perhaps a waterfall.” Choose any image you like. If you do this exercise regularly, you will gradually get rid of your old habit. But this will require patience and perseverance.

3. The next way is to be gentle, tolerant and kind to yourself

One pastor wrote with humour: “Dear Lord God. I pray for patience. And I want it right now!”

Patience is a very powerful tool. Most of us suffer from an expectation of immediate reward. We need to get it immediately. We don’t have the patience to wait. We get irritated when we have to stand in queues. We are annoyed by traffic jams. We want to get answers to all our questions this very minute.

And at the same time – all the good things in life. Too often we poison other people’s lives with our impatience. Impatience is a resistance to learning. We want answers without learning the lesson and taking the necessary steps in this direction.

Imagine that your consciousness is a garden. To begin with, a garden is a piece of land. We can have thickets of self-loathing blooming there, and boulders of disappointment, anger and anxiety lying around every corner.

It’s high time to cut the branches of the old tree called the word “fear”. One day you will get it out of the way and the land will be beautiful. You will sow seeds or plant saplings of joy and well-being. Sunlight will fall on the earth, and you will irrigate it with the attention of love. At first it will seem that nothing significant is happening.

But don’t stop there, keep tending to your garden. If you are patient, your garden will grow and flourish. The same thing happens with the consciousness. You “plant” certain thoughts. They turn into a garden of experiences and situations that you want. But this requires patience.

4. We must learn to be kind to our minds

 path to self-love

After all, we can learn from this life experience. Being kind to ourselves means putting an end to any accusations and insults against us, as well as punishment.

You also need to learn to relax. Relaxation is a necessary condition for establishing a connection with the Inner Force. When you are scared and tense, the energy is cut off from you.

It only takes a few minutes to completely relax your body and brain. Close your eyes and breathe deeply for a few minutes. As you exhale, you need to concentrate and say to yourself quietly: “I love you. Everything is perfect.”

And you will notice how much calmer you will start to feel. In this way, you tell yourself that there is no need to live in tension and fear all the time.

Meditation – every day! In addition, I recommend that you bring your mind to a state of calm and listen to your inner wisdom every day. Our society has turned meditation into a kind of sacrament available only to the initiated.

However, meditation is extremely easy. All you have to do is relax and repeat words like “love”, “peace” or any other words that are meaningful to you for a while.

“OM”… This sound has come down to us from ancient times. I think it works perfectly. You can also repeat statements:

“I love myself”, or “I forgive myself”, or “I am forgiven”. Then you should listen to your inner feelings.

Some people think that during meditation the thought process stops completely. In fact, this is not necessary. The flow of thoughts can simply slow down, and nothing will interfere with their free flow.

Some people sit with a notebook and pencil in hand and write down all their negative thoughts. In this way, they make it easier to let go of these thoughts.

When we reach a state where we can dispassionately observe the flow of our thoughts, noting: “This is fear, this is anger, and here is a thought of love, followed by something disgusting, and now I think that everyone will abandon me…”, this indicates that we have begun to use the Inner Power and Wisdom.

You can meditate anywhere and anytime. Try to make meditation a habit. Think of it as a way of concentrating on your Higher Power. In this way, you will establish a connection with yourself and your Inner Wisdom. You can practice meditation in any form that suits you.

Some people meditate while jogging or walking. If your way of meditating is different from others you know, that’s okay. You have to choose what works for you personally. For example, I like to dig in my garden. For me, this is meditation to all meditation.

5. The next step in improving self-esteem is to learn to praise yourself

While criticism destroys the inner core, praise builds it. Recognise your Power – the Divine within you. We are all manifestations of the Universal Mind. By scolding yourself, you are attacking the Power that created you.

Start small. Tell yourself that my day will go well in a good mood. Once will not be enough, of course. So repeat these words without sparing yourself time. Believe me, it will help.

The next time you have to do something new and unfamiliar, support yourself with words of encouragement. Allow yourself to accept the good things in life without thinking about whether you deserve them or not. The belief that we are unworthy of everything keeps happiness out of our lives.

Self-destruction separates us from what we want. But how can we say anything good about ourselves if we are sure of the opposite?

Think about your position in your home and in your life in general. Have you ever felt that you are a good enough, agile, cheerful, good-looking person? What are you living for? You know that you came into this world for a purpose and that it is not to buy a new car every couple of years. What are you willing to do to find yourself?

Do you want to practice affirmations, visualisation and other self-healing techniques? Are you ready to forgive? Do you want to meditate? How serious are your intentions to change your life for the better?

6. To love yourself is to find support

Go to your friends and ask for help. Asking for help in a difficult moment is not a sign of weakness, but of strength. Many of us are used to being self-confident and relying on ourselves. You do not ask for help because your ego does not allow you to. But, instead of trying to get out on your own and then getting angry at yourself for your own powerlessness, it is better to seek help.

7. Love your troubles and shortcomings. Everything negative in us and in life in general is just a part of a grandiose overall plan. Part of the programme of the universe. The Universal Intelligence that created humanity cannot hate us for making mistakes or being angry with our children. The Universal Mind knows that we are trying our best and supports us with its love.

Each of us makes mistakes and bad choices at some point. However, if we constantly punish ourselves for our mistakes, this behaviour gradually becomes a habit and it becomes quite difficult to give it up.

At the same time, it becomes increasingly difficult to make a positive choice. If you tirelessly repeat: “I hate my job. I hate my home. I hate my illness. I hate my relationships. I hate it all,” you can hardly expect to live a happy life.

Remember that no difficult or unpleasant situation occurs by chance. There is something behind each of them. Some very serious reason. “Love your illness” means that you have to become better, more loving towards yourself and others, that people should not condemn themselves for their illnesses or surgeries.

In fact, you should congratulate yourself on your illness, because it serves as a reliable clue when choosing a life path. We need to understand that any problem has a direct relationship to our outlook on life: we contribute to creating problems by trying to control certain situations. Once we realise this, we will be able to find a way out of the situation without harming our health.

No matter what negative stereotypes of thinking and behaviour we have, we can always learn to find a way out in time. That’s why it’s important to ask yourself this question:

“What will this situation lead to? What will I learn from it? Will my experience be positive?” We don’t like to ask ourselves these questions. However, if we really want to know the answer to them and look inside ourselves, we will find out the truth.

For example, the answer might be: “This is the only way I can get my husband’s attention.” Once you realise this, you can think about how to get the same result in other, less harmful ways.

Humour is one of the possible means of recovery. It helps you to let go of pain and tension and thus make it easier to cope with a stressful situation. We have a special time for jokes at Gayrade. Sometimes we invite a “laughing lady” to join us.

She has such an infectious laugh that no one can remain serious in her presence. You can’t take things too seriously, and laughter has an amazing power to heal. I advise you to watch old comedies more often when you are in a bad mood.

8. Take care of your body

Think of your body as a beautiful house that you are destined to live in for a while. You would love this house and take care of it, wouldn’t you? To begin with, you should pay attention to what you treat your body with.

Drugs and alcohol are two of the most popular means of escaping reality today. If you use drugs, it does not mean that you are a worthless person. It only means that you have not yet found another way to cope with your problems.

Drugs are beckoning to you: “Take us! We’ll have a great time”. And it’s true. You may find yourself in seventh heaven. However, drugs distort your reality to such a great extent that you will eventually have to pay a terrible price for it. After you have been taking drugs for some time, your health begins to deteriorate sharply.

First of all, the immune system suffers, which leads to the development of many different diseases. In the future, you can no longer give up drugs. Therefore, before taking them, you need to ask yourself what is pushing you to take this risky step. Perhaps you are going through a difficult period and want to distract yourself? As for constant use and drug addiction, this is a completely different story.

I have never met a person who sincerely loved themselves and at the same time used drugs. Drugs and alcohol are an attempt to get rid of the feelings of inferiority that we have carried with us since childhood.

When the drug intoxication wears off, we feel even worse than before. What’s more, we are burdened with guilt. We have yet to learn that we do not need to hide from our feelings. It is safe to feel. In addition, any feelings will pass sooner or later.

Another indication of self-hatred is poor nutrition. We cannot live without food because it is the fuel for our body. Without it, new cells would not develop.

But even if we are familiar with the basics of proper nutrition, we still use foods that are harmful to our health and lead to obesity.

Even future doctors are not taught the basics of proper nutrition. It is good if a medical student wants to learn about this subject as an elective. What is commonly known as traditional medicine is mainly based on treatment with drugs and surgery.

Knowledge of the basics of proper nutrition can only be acquired on your own, of your own free will. Being attentive to food and your well-being is a manifestation of self-love. If you feel sleepy an hour after breakfast, ask yourself what you ate. Perhaps it was something that your body cannot handle in the morning. Pay attention to the foods that give you energy, as well as those that take it away.

In this case, you can proceed by trial and error. In addition, it is worth consulting a good specialist who will answer all your questions.

9. I often stress the importance of working with a mirror

This is a very good way to find out what exactly is holding us back from loving ourselves. There are several ways to work with a mirror.

Here’s one of my favourites, for example. In the morning, the first thing you need to do is go to the mirror and say, looking at the reflection: “What can I do for you today? What will bring you pleasure and benefit?” And then you need to listen carefully to the answer of your inner voice.

Follow his advice throughout the day. It happens that some people cannot wait for a response. This is because they have been scolding themselves too much before: their inner voice is not yet used to responding to kind words full of love.

If during the day something unpleasant happens to you, you communicate with manipulators or toxic people who try to distort your world, go to the mirror and say: “I still love you.” All events have a beginning and an end, but your love is endless, and that’s the most important thing. And if something good happens, look at your reflection in the mirror again and say: “Thank you”. Be grateful to yourself for feeling happy. Standing in front of a mirror can help you learn forgiveness. Try to forgive yourself and others. Looking in the mirror can help you talk to people you don’t dare to talk to face-to-face.

You can sort things out with parents, bosses, doctors, children, lovers. You can simply say what you were afraid to say in another setting. And remember that in the end, you should always ask your “interlocutors” for love and approval, because that’s what you need.

People who do not feel love for themselves, as a rule, do not know how to forgive. There is a direct correlation here: without forgiveness, you cannot love. When we forgive and let go of a grudge, we lift an unbearable burden from our shoulders and open our hearts to love.

People say: “I feel so relieved!” Of course, because they have just got rid of such a burden! I believe that by forgiving oneself and one’s parents, by letting go of all the resentments of the past, a person heals his body in a way that no antibiotic can.

You have to try very hard to make your children stop loving you. But if this happens, it will be very difficult for them to forgive. When we cannot forgive, when we cannot let go of resentment, the past displaces the present from our lives. If we do not live in the present, how can we build our future?

Old junk from the past can turn into a disgusting landfill over time.

It is very useful to say affirmations in front of a mirror. In this way, you learn to find out the truth about yourself. If in response to an affirmation, a grumpy voice comes from within: “Are you kidding? It’s not true. You don’t deserve this,” consider that you have received a valuable gift. Change is impossible until you know what you need to work on.

The grumbling of false inner voices is actually the key to freedom. Respond to a negative attitude with a positive statement:

“Now I deserve all the good things. I allow pleasant and rewarding experiences to fill my life.” Repeat this statement until it becomes a part of your life.

I have seen families in which at least one person is engaged in affirmations change right before my eyes. Many of those who come to us have very cool relationships at home. For example, parents refuse to talk to their children. In this case, we offer the following affirmation: “I have a wonderful, warm, open relationship of love and trust with every member of my family, including my mother.”

The affirmation can be changed depending on the specific problem. I advise that every time the thought of your family or one of its members comes to mind, you should go to the mirror and repeat this affirmation again.

And how nice it is when, after three, six, or nine months, your outlook, thoughts, and habits change for the better.

10. And finally, love yourself now

Don’t wait until you start to succeed. Eternal dissatisfaction with yourself is just a habit.

If you can be satisfied with yourself now, if you can love and approve of yourself right now, then you are ready to enjoy the good things that will become part of your life.

Once you learn to love yourself, you will be able to love and accept others.

We cannot change other people, so leave them alone.

Trying to change someone, we spend a lot of energy. If we spent at least half of it on ourselves, we would be completely different. And of course, we would have a completely different attitude.

If a situation arises in which you have to face a person who is opposed to any changes for the better, then just love yourself, love yourself truly, and fate will take all the trouble away from you.

What I am saying may sound a bit simplistic. However, I am ready to repeat over and over again that the most effective way to avoid problems is to love ourselves as we are.

Welcome to the site of spiritual development and healing of the body and soul –🧡

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